Fredrickson describes love as a “biological wave of good feeling and mutual care that rolls through two or more brains and bodies at once.” (There is much potential to discuss other dimensions of love-but let’s leave that for another day). I think finding micromoments of love might be something that I am naturally good at. My training and education in body awareness has made it even easier for me to feel these moments.
I experience love as having different textures: sometimes I feel love as a wave of softening through my body, sometimes it feels like I am expanding, sometimes I also feel the condensing. I feel it in my heart, skin, muscles, and organs. I feel it in my eyes, mouth, and hands. I often feel in the easiness of my breath. Allowing myself to pay attention to the actual feelings and sensations of love nourishes my relationships and me. It helps me relax and appreciate the wonderful relationships I am in; even if it’s a micromoment popping up in the midst of exhaustion and confusion.
Finding these moments might take practice. An important first step may be to feel the sensations that arise when you feel love. (You could imagine a moment of shared love with someone and pay attention to sensations that arise). Then, another piece is to simply (or maybe not so simply in practice) be present with what’s happening inside your body in everyday life- so that you catch those moments of love fully when they arise.
I would like to share with you two moments where I experienced micromoments of love with children I care for:
- Last week I was taking a three year old buddy of mine to park. We stopped by my house to prepare a picnic basket. I took my shoes off near the front door and walked into the kitchen. She started to follow me and then stopped mid way and said, “Oh, I will take my shoes off too.” She did and joined me in the kitchen. When we finished I approached the door and saw her sweet little shoes placed carefully next to mine. I stood there and felt myself soften and slow down. A tenderness spread over my body, followed by a feeling of aching in some areas. She stood next to me and stared right up at me. We made eye contact and I felt myself smile. Her eagerness and willingness to relate with me touched me and I felt our love for one another.
- I was working at preschool. One of the children, I’ll call her Lilith, had been having a hard time for a few weeks with peers. I was sitting in the play yard, observing children play. She strolled by me in a kind of aimless way, looking around the yard. I said, “Hey Lilith, you look like your looking for something to play.” She said, “Yeah…” and took a big sigh. She walked closer to me and I put my hand on her back. I said, “Hmmm”. (I love saying ‘hmmmm’ to kids invite them think and let them know I am thinking too). We talked for a moment about what we saw the other children playing. She looked at a wagon next to us and said, “That wagon is dirty! It needs to be cleaned!”. I responded, “Yeah, it is. Maybe we should clean it?” She got a wide-eyed big smile on her face. I got some sponges and filled a bucket with water. We walked through the play yard offering sponges to children and asking if they wanted to help us. Within a few minutes four other children and her were vigorously scrubbing the wagon. I stood back and enjoyed watching them so focused and working together. Lilith looked up at me, paused scrubbing and said in a soft voice, “I love when you’re my teacher.” I felt a wave of love spread through my body and a settling of the tension in my shoulders. My body felt pleasurably heavy and grounded. We made eye contact for a moment. I smiled at her, speechless. My chest softened and I felt my breath move. She returned to her scrubbing and the moment passed but I allowed the feeling to linger.
Where and how do you feel love in your body?
What 'micromoments of love' have you had lately?
How you can have more of them?
I appreciate hearing from you.
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